These are 7 consequences that I am just starting to piece back together now, 7 years after leaving my wife of 22 years. These are real world experiences that I am trying to come to terms with myself. I hope they can help you. Just read them all before you leave.
- Realize that no human is perfect (by design) and that no matter what you might think at this moment, you are not perfect, nor are you invincible.
- You will personally feel the pain you are about to inflict on your wife and circle of friends. In other words, your heart will be broken too. But it will be far worse, because you will have the pain of the past upon you. It will be yours, and yours alone for the rest of your life. (And yes, you will be constantly reminded of it.)
- Other people will disappoint you far more than your wife, so no matter what you’re thinking at this moment, the shiny object you might be admiring will have even more imperfections.
- You are hurting more people than you realize. If you do choose to leave, take a moment to think about how your actions will impact others now, rather than later.
- You are depriving yourself of personal growth by not taking the time to dig deep and understand that as humans we all have gaps. Gaps of insecurities and gaps of self doubt. Your wife needs your help and you need hers, as well.
- If you leave, I guarantee that at some point you will cry profusely no matter how macho you think you are. It may be many years later, but the reality of the damage your are about to inflict will find you.
- You still have the opportunity to get together with your wife and start working on your individual gaps right now. You can embrace your insecurities and human deficiencies and work together to resolve together. Give it all you’ve got, then re-read 1-7.